Feedback

I grew up with the little children's rhymes "Sticks and Stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me", and "I'm rubber, you're glue... whatever you say bounces off me and sticks on you." And for a long time I allowed myself to make these my life's mantras when people didn't agree with me. But as I've gotten older and I've had more of life's experience, I've learned that those mantras have the best of  intentions when it comes to raising strong willed children, but they do little for when those rhymes can't filter the more piercing words spoken into our hearts. It's interesting looking back at the times when people's words have stung worse than a physical slap in the face... they usually happened with regard to things God was speaking into my heart. 

When I was deciding what to do after my DTS was over in Germany, I was contemplating doing something with my photography, but I wasn't sure what. Wedding photography had always been a secret love of mine, but I was still not convinced I could actually pull it off as a career. During this beginning phase of my future pondering, someone I looked up to photographically spoke these words and they pierced straight through my filter and changed how I saw myself and my passions... " Wedding photography is a joke.... it's not even real art. I hate it. Anyone can pick up a digital camera and take good wedding pictures. I've never actually seen a good wedding photographer." This was the beginning of the road to deciding to become a wedding photographer for me, and these words put me back a ways and caused me to reconsider the voice of God in my life, my worth as a person, and my worth as a photographer.

When I came home and continued the search of the next step in my life and photography, I attended a Missional Photography class at Rock Harbor where I experienced the most healing and productive feedback that gave me enough confidence back to believe I had something to offer as a Wedding photographer. One of the instructors, Dane Sanders, chose one of my images as one of his favorites. He talked about what he liked and also what I could have done to make the image better. Just the fact that he thought my images was good enough to talk about and to show to the rest of the class helped heal the damage done to my heart from past experiences. From that night, I praise God for the confirmation and encouragement received from such a small thing... and gathered enough courage to leave everything I knew to pursue a dream.

There have been several instances where people's words have affected my view of myself, both positively and negatively. But both kinds of feedback have been lessons in giving it to God and letting Him be the only source of truth in my life. In the hall of fame of best and worst feedback I've ever gotten from people in regards to my photography are as follows:

Best: "I will never use another photographer as long as I live. Kate Noelle was the best choice I could have made for my wedding day."

Worst: "You have ruined my reputation. I am completely disappointed in your work and my choice to use you as the photographer. And I would like you to hand over every image you took, straight from the camera, so I can give it to another photographer to try and salvage the images."

One thing I've learned is there are productive ways to effect change, and there are negative ways. The positive ones are not always comfortable to hear, but they usually are delivered in a manner that says, " you did something wrong, but I want to see you succeed, so here's my suggestion and I want to be in conversation with you about this." The negative ones are uncomfortable as well, but they're harder to hear because it brings up defense shields and the feelings towards the deliverer are usually disdain and fear.

So in regards to recent comments about photographs, I apologize if I've offended anyone; it's not my intent or my heart's desire to see anyone negatively affected by my work. However, I've learned it's impossible to please everyone. I do my best to uphold my beliefs and morals in my work and my images, but know that I am human. I do make mistakes and I do fall short of perfection. Feedback is pivotal to my growth as a person and as a photographer and I want you all to know that I welcome feedback both positive and negative. I still am amazed when I get comments from blog readers that talk about how much they love my images, how my words inspire them, and how much they value me as a photographer... it never gets old and it always makes me feel like a million dollars. On the flip side, when I get negative feedback from readers or clients, it affects me even more. I struggle with taking things personally and it's a struggle to see the silver lining when I fall short of perfection. Anyone who talks with me often knows I'm the kind of person who wants to be the best and perfect RIGHT NOW and it's frustrating to me when I can't do it on my timeframe. I'm learning, and hopefully growing... and your feedback is a big part of that. So keep your comments coming. I love hearing what you all have to say. 

On a lighter note, here's some shots I took during Veritas this past Sunday. Christopher's cousin Michael is in town and they led worship together. I've loved observing their relationship for the few days I've been back and their music blended perfectly together on Sunday... like they've been playing and singing together their whole lives. Here they are... because I definitely think a blog post is better with pictures.