Funky Town

I suppose you could say I've been in a funk for the past couple weeks. I usually consider myself a person with a killer mental edge... I can take on stress, I can take on unpredictability, I can take on curve balls God tosses my way... for the most part. But lately I've allowed seemingly little things to get the best of me and pile on top of each other. May and June have been my busiest months and I've put work above family and friends, and I've felt the stretch in my relationships for sure. My room is a mess (anyone who knows me knows I can't think straight when things are messy). It's been difficult this year financially... as it is with most entrepreneurs in their first year... I've allowed it to get the best of me at times.  And, I went through a phase of a  week or two when I was convinced either my Dad, Christopher, or I would die at an early age of some unpreventable and unforeseen tragedy... I think it partly has to do with a tragic happening in a fellow photographer's life recently. I was convinced it was going to be reality and it terrified me that I had no control over it. But then God spoke very clearly one night as I was reading through some scriptures. I had been reading through Isaiah and it was kind of depressing reading about the wrath of God upon the Israelites and neighboring countries.... didn't make my anxiety any better. Before I blew out my candles for the evening, I had the urge to flip through Psalms and Psalm 91 caught my eye. (Side Note: This normally doesn't happen to me. I'm usually the person more likely to doubt God's ability to speak directly through scripture at coincidental times. He definitely has the ability, I just don't encounter Him in this sort of way too often.) It read as follows:

"Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God, and I trust Him. [I totally haven't been trusting Him] For He will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. [Scuse me... are you talking to me? Haha...] He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day. Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. [OKAY... Thanks for reminding me SPECIFICALLY] Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you. Just open your eyes, and see how the wicked are punished. If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will  conquer you; no plague will come near your home. For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go. They will hold you up with their hands so you won't even hurt your foot on a stone. You will trample upon lions and cobras; you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet! The Lord says, "I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer. I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation." (Psalm 91, NLT)

So yeah... He nailed that one! I love hate it when He speaks to me like this because on one hand, I feel like a complete idiot, but on the other, I LOVE LOVE LOVE hearing Him and recognizing His voice. It was so reassuring to hear from Him that He's a GOOD God. The old testament is chalk full of times when God pours his wrath on people, but it's also full of His faithfulness and goodness. Even, at times, he showed his faithfulness and goodness in times when He also poured his wrath out on the people. I'll never understand the complexity of why He does what He does, but I do know that My God is GOOD. I really have to forcibly remind myself of this fact... He is Good. He is Good. He is Good. Because I'm denser than dirt sometimes... I forget how Good He is even when the sun's shining, the flowers are all in bloom, and birds are chirping contentedly...

Thank you for reminding me. Thank you for having patience with me. Thank you for being so creative in how you show me you love me and that I'll always be taken care of.

Here's just a few shots from my 4th of July weekend, just another way He has shown me recently how Good He is. The 4th was a Uber relaxing day and miraculously, I got to do everything I needed to that day... and got to spend some quality BBQing time with family, friends, my sister Melissa, and Christopher.

Christopher took the picture of me... pretty good eh? That's my bestest 2nd shooter for ya!

I absolutely adore this picture of my sister... she's so silly :)

Aaand I really like this series of pictures....  the 2nd was totally unplanned and definitely gives you a little picture of Christopher's new favorite thing to do... give me wet willies. He thinks he's SOO FUNNY.

Happy belated Independence Day... and remember... don't be like me. Remember everyday that just because we have our independence and freedom doesn't mean we don't need Him. Being in relationship with Him and seeking him to be our shelter and trusting Him even with the hard things (like our money) give us the freedom to give back and rest deeply in the fact that He is good and has our back ALWAYS.

Peace Out.