So tonight I had a random urge to watch
Disney's Hannah Montana: the Movie. I know... I know... Now, before you discount everything I've ever said about being a person of depth and decent maturity... hear me out. Wait for it... yep.... something in me moved and I found myself inexplicably on my knees worshipping my Jesus to
Miley Cyrus' "The Climb." You're probably thinking "Kate's gone off the deep end... she needs more sleep or something!" Well the funny thing about this experience is that it's still got me high. I don't think it's dumb. God created everything so why couldn't he use any of it to speak to his children?
Anyways.... I wanted to share this song with you because it spoke to my heart tonight and I hope you'll hear His whispers in
Miley's words:
"I can almost see it, that dream I'm dreaming, but
there's a voice inside my head saying, 'you'll never reach it.'
Every step I'm taking, every move I make feels
lost with no direction. My faith is shaking.
But I, I've gotta keep trying.
Gotta keep my head held high.
There's always gonna be another mountain.
I'm always gonna want to make it move.
Always gonna be an uphill battle,
sometimes I'm gonna have to lose.
It ain't about how fast I get there,
it ain't about what's waiting on the other side.
It's about the climb.
The struggles I'm facing, the chances I'm taking
sometimes might knock me down, but
no I'm not breaking.
I may not know it, but these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yea I just gotta keep going.
And I, I've gotta be strong.
Just keep pushing on.
There's always gonna be another mountain.
I'm always gonna want to make it move.
Always gonna be an uphill battle,
sometimes I'm gonna have to lose.
It ain't about how fast I get there,
it ain't about what's waiting on the other side.
It's about the climb.
Keep. Your. Faith."
If you've had conversations with me lately (or ever), I'm sure you've heard me say over and over, " I just want to get there already.".... or "I just want to be perfect and the best RIGHT NOW!" I don't like to wait. I don't like the hard journey of climbing. I want to be "there" already. I don't like making mistakes. I don't like struggling to find my way. I don't like not knowing everything. I'm constantly thirsty for more. I'm always striving for the mark above perfection..... and it gets exhausting.
"Kate, there's always going to be another mountain that seems to be in the way. And knowing you better than anyone else, I know you're going to want to move the mountain so you can keep going at warp speed toward your dreams. Stop. Breathe. Look around. It's not about how fast you can get 'there' and it's definitely not about that place you seem to want to get to so badly. Security in finances? You won't find that 'there'. Satisfaction all the time? You won't find that 'there' either. You think there won't be any more mountains once you get 'there'? There will be. Stop. Breathe. Look around. The beauty of it all is in the climb. It won't all be easy. It won't all be hard either. Once you get to a higher altitude and closer to the peak, new obstacles will be presented to you... like lack of oxygen. But enjoy the climb because I'm with you."
One last thing... when I was reading last night in the furious longing of God, by Brennan Manning, I was challenged by a reoccurring question. It wasn't reoccurring in the book as much as it's been reoccurring in my personal life.... "If Jesus were to ask you, right now--what do you want?--what would you say? Seriously, what would your answer be?" I was first asked this question in the forest in Herrnhut, Germany when walking alone with God. "What do you want?" And even though it's been a while, and quite the journey since then, my answer remains the same.... there are so many things I want and dream of. I'm a dreamer. I'm a goal setter. But when it comes right down to it, I want to be able to trust that God will take care of me... but not just take care of me.... I want him to make my dreams and desires come true. I want the man of my dreams... I want to be the best wedding and portrait photographer I can be... I want to have a beautiful house to call my home... I want to see the world and bless missionaries.... I want to show the world Your measure of beauty through my eyes and my lens. There are so many things I want... and it's completely freeing to know, in my heart and in my head, that He is a good God who wants to give me my heart's desires. I know this because He told me "[You] are my [Beloved]. And [my] desire is for [you]. (Song of Songs 7:10 NASB)"
So enjoy the climb. I'm doing my best to.
(End Note: I took this photo with a "point and shoot" camera in May of 2007... a whole year before I realized my dream to become a photographer. As my good friend Debora once told me, "trust in what God's put in you." He put a love for photography in me.)